ive been doing very very little. i liked christmas because 1) the snow was glitttery 2)tom brought me a big opal that now resides on my middle finger 3) i feel a bit more like myself again.

 i love this film. everytime i watch something set in the early sixties i can't sleep afterwards because all i can think for days and days on end is how im convinced i was meant to have been young then. it just makes me all unsettled and like i want to go somwhere filled with things i dont know about just so i could pretend to be sometime and someone else for a little bit. 

even this book, set in the twenties makes me feel like that,. for a flat book its so stupidly full of life it's almost painful to remind yourself it's not real. it never really happened. that's the one bad thing about books, an enormous sense of disappointment afterwards. but i suppose it's worth it if not for that short time of feeling like you're part of something different.